Practical Proceedings

             As we wander this path, seeking our truth and learning our lessons, we are asked to play a balancing game.  We are required to keep going forward.  Time does not stop, so neither can we.

             Our task is to find the priorities, and honour them.  To search out the bits and pieces which have the most meaning, and learn from them.  To discover treasure, and then hold it close.

             In my own personal journey, Release is foremost, the first obstacle, the highest hurdle.  It’s physical, it’s mental, and it’s even sometimes spiritual.  I am constantly in need of letting something go.

             For me, the quest is to decode what has to be allowed its freedom.  What am I clinging to, which now must be surrendered?  And how do I move through my life without it?  Where do I find this illusive “too much” element?

             Our message right now provides an answer, it shows us where to place our focus, it helps us discern what topics and categories should be on our repair bench, as we

process our healing.

             My personal example.  I have an eating disorder (mental), now diagnosed but no longer treatable as my insurance is gone.  I also have a chronic condition (physical), which has thus far been incurable.  These two factors are often at odds with each other.  To deal with one, I always need to consider the other.  And yet, their modes of mending can clash, causing a flare-up in one or the other.

             As we navigate our world, finding the path which brings about the most curative and pleasing results, we often discover roadblocks (or moneywalls).  One option helps one thing, but it makes another worse.  The other direction might be helpful, but not for all the symptoms.

             What do we put at the top of our list?  Where do we place our precedence?  And is there anything we can choose which will help us on multiple levels?

             My personal ranking, as I crawl ever closer to 60, has to be mental health, above all else.  I am no longer going to sacrifice my sanity nor my soul.  And this Universal reminder is an excellent validation.

             Because when we allow ourselves the time/energy to sit with the healing process, no matter the method, we immediately begin to notice improvement.  We feel the strength and the joy returning.

             We just have to remember, it’s a process.  Not a result.  It’s a journey, not a conclusion.

             And no matter what the effort, we’re worth it.  When we make the choice to allow our healing process to be important, we allow ourselves to be important, too.

 

 

.

Markers and Moments

             When a birthday or anniversary nears, we can’t help but be brought back to that place, that feeling, that spot on our journey.  It’s been this way for me recently.

             The advancement of days, the march of time, the approach of a new season … all of it triggers memories, brings up thoughts of the past.  Fondly looking behind and smiling can be healthy.  For me, most often, it is painful.

             In these handful of recent years I’ve been very focused on recovery, healing, growth, and Life Lessons.  There are days when I think, hey, that went well, I sure do feel emotionally stable.  And then, there are the episodes when all I feel is bad, sorry, grief-stricken, and heavy (on a variety of levels).

             I wholeheartedly believe in what is called “curating your feed” and aiming our gaze upon that which will help us in the highest and best way.  Allowing our eyes to rest where the view will bring the most comfort is crucial.  As is, you guessed it, Self Care.

             None of this does any good if we can’t get out of bed in the morning (or afternoon, or evening), none of the tools we have are any use if we can’t bring ourselves to use them.

             Here is where I’m being directed, here is what the Universe wants us to focus on:

forgiveness. 

             The biggest barrier to our own sanity is generally within.  If we do not ask for help, if we do not allow ourselves the mercy of being forgiven, we will not be able to move forward.

             And what other direction can we go?  Not back, that’s done.  That’s over with.  That fucking ship has so sailed.

             Begin from our own heart, our own soul, or own body.  Start the healing at home.  Our one and only sure-thing place, where our spirit currently resides.  This is the vessel we have chosen to move around in.  It only makes sense that we should treat it well.

             Whatever “well” means.  I’m no authority on Wellness, but I have been living here in one of these bodies for long enough to know that we must be kind.  We must be generous.  And most of all, we must forgive.

reminder:
lovingkindness

Special Note:

the Universe may believe in full-on forgive-everyone.  I do not.

My complete surety is in going with our intuition.  And for this one, we’re only focusing on SELF forgiveness.  Which we all totally deserve.

 

.