If not Equal, then Level

             Merry Equinox to one all All!  Okay, maybe not ALL.  But in this time of chaos, what you won’t hear from me is anything topical, medical, global, nor political.  None of that in this space right now.

             It’s everywhere else, it doesn’t need to be here.  Instead, we’ll be focusing on Care.  Care for ourselves.  In whatever form that takes.

             Care for others, if we are able.  Again, in whatever form that takes.

             There is to be no judgment at this time.  We can’t afford it.  We are all doing the best we can with what we have.  To say that Our Way is “better” than someone else’s is to cause the biggest hurt.

             We don’t know how others are coping, we must look only within.  We must be more gentle than ever.  We must be kind.  Patient.  And filled with LovingKindess.

             I’m not negating the fact that many of us are in pain and discomfort, and that we shouldn’t experience our feelings.  While we acknowledge these emotions, we have to remember about permanence.  Nothing lasts forever.   Not even horrible and weird uncertainty.

             We have control over how we react.  And how we move forward.  Or, how we may be sitting still.  We have control over how we breathe.

            During this moment, let us allow ourselves (and each other) to Be.  To breathe.  To have some space and some healing.  It can only help.

 

 

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In Mercy

             When I’m shown a sign numerous times, or am directed someplace over and over, I know it’s a big damn deal.  This week was no exception.

             While my desk job is soon to be going through a huge operational systems change, I have been keeping the worry in my back pocket, trying to ignore the low-key stress I feel about how much trouble this will cause.  Simultaneously, I enjoyed some fantastic days off/family moments.

             This is my reality.  And I’m getting better at the juggling, the prioritizing, the putting one aside to face the other, then… switching gears.  I’ve worked really hard to get here, and it makes me proud to say I put in the hours, the tears, the pain, to reach this point.

             (I have a long way still to go, but the progress is evident.)

             My improvement is also being measured in the way I treat myself.  I’ve granted allowances, I’ve fashioned a sort of metaphorical shawl of grace I reach for when I start to spiral in a negative direction, draping it over my shoulders in comfort and tenderness.

             I extend compassion to my younger self now too, I look at her as someone who maybe should have been given understanding instead of being assaulted.  I don’t hold her responsible as I once did.  I have relieved her of the burdens she should not have been carrying.

             Who the Universe has brought forth for this lesson is one of my true favorites.  When she kept showing up (in SUCH unexpected and random ways), I smiled, and thanked her.

“Quan Yin

The Goddess of Compassion

‘I recognize suffering in order to release it.‘ “

             To live in honesty and with genuine empathy for those around us, we must show ourselves this same care.  We must forgive our younger selves.  Forgive our past selves.

             Once we move through and beyond the sorrow, the guilt, and the blame, we can often see an innocence in our ignorance.  To show compassion is to accept that we’re all learning, we’re all growing, we’re all trying to do better.

             Would we berate a loved one for actions they couldn’t change, or origins they had no control over?  Never!  So, it only seems fair we grant the same clemency for ourselves.

             Allow lovingkindness, first for ourselves, and then, rippling out into the world.  It’s what Quan Yin suggests.  And I agree.

 

 

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Honourable Mention

             While I understand that America’s food-centric November holiday has taken on more of an Attitude of Gratitude since those early celebrations of “helpful” natives, I am still unable to participate.  It has been monetized and force fed to us in too much of a white-washed way (literally) for me to get on board.

             For the same reasons that christians’ gala of December 25th has always felt distasteful and false in its modern guise, this Norman Rockwell pressure-fest is extremely uncomfortable.  And not just for individuals with eating disorders.

             I’ll be at work the next 5 days, behind my desk, paid by the hour.  Parts of my family will gather and feast.  I am entirely fine with this scenario.  As are my loved ones.  My shifts for the past two and a half years have been Thursday through Monday, so we roll with it.

             When the kids were young, and their father’s schedule overlapped those forced holidays, we just made due, got together on other dates when the majority was available.  It’s still how we manage.

             What I have been made aware of, as I avoid the smothering onslaught of social media and marketing, is how so many people are having the same experience as I am.  It was not a surprise to me when I understood that, no matter the season, the most important factor for our balanced wellbeing, is truly for us to treat ourselves with

respect.

             We need to take care.  Not of others, and not of what others are expecting.  But of ourselves.  We need to honour the feelings, honour our ancestors.  The ones who came before us and who no longer have a voice.  The ones who were here first, originally.

             The world is continually bombarding us with shoulds.  What we can do to avoid this, and the stress it causes, is to say no.  We can set boundaries.  We can stay home.  We can choose to reject any event which does not resonate.  We can go for walks.  We can do whatever it takes for us to feel okay.

             What better way to be give thanks, than by doing what is best?  If joining others over a meal is a good fit for you, then bon appetit!  But if it’s not, and you don’t gain pleasure from something like that, then don’t.  Just so long as all activities (big or small) are performed respectfully.  For you, for those who went before us, for the greater good, mindfully.

             Also?   Buy Nothing Day is Friday.  Enjoy!

Viewpoint of Grace

             I spent some time with my mother yesterday.  It was my father’s 81st birthday.  Part of my gift to him was to remove my mom from the room.  He doesn’t ask for much.  Mostly, we’re all surprised that each of us has lived this long.

             One of the things both of my parents and I have in common is how much we complain.  We’re like professional quality.  It is, though, something we’d all like to do less.  Work in progress, that one.

             What our message focuses on right now is that same concept.  It’s about how we are conditioned to be unhappy with what’s in front of us.  And how, if we only had more/were thinner/earned loads of money/insert whatever is new and trending we’d be supremely better.

             There’s a very old Mexican fable I grew up hearing.  It’s about a young woman who is overwhelmed with her life, is displeased and frustrated.  She seeks counsel from the only one she thinks might help: her priest.  Now, this guy is old, he’s seen a lot, he’s one of the good ones, he knows shit.

             She tells the padre her tale of woe, and he immediately has a solution.  He instructs her to go home and bring all of her chickens indoors.

             Of course she doesn’t think this is a good idea at all.  But she does it.  Then a week later she goes back, tells him how much worse it’s all gotten.  He asks if their dogs and cats are also in the house?  She says no!  He tells her to bring them in, too.

             Later, he does the same with the goat, the neighbor’s cow, and then finally she ends up borrowing some kids from a relative and inviting her in-laws to come stay.

             When weeks have passed, and she is frantic, horrified by what her home has become, he recommends that she return every thing and every one back to where they belong.  After that, task the children with helping in a thorough cleaning.  Then come back with her report.

             You know where this is going.  She’s relieved by his wisdom and kind advice.  Her life is so calm and tidy now!

             That’s what the Universe wants us to remember.  It’s about

perspective

again.

             When we feel as though all the world is out to get us and everything is horrible, well, take a step back.  Examine what we truly have.  Look at our mountain of blessings.  See the beauty in our surroundings, our home, our village.

             Do we actually have it so bad?  Are there ways we can improve where we are?  For ourselves, our loved ones, others in our community, our global family?  What more can we do, what more can we share?

             Rather than bitching and berating, complaining and blaming, bring the chickens in for a few days.  Borrow a neighbor’s goat.  See how much better things are than we first imagined?

             As soon as we change HOW we see, we change how TO see.

 

 

 

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Perfectly Adequate

             Still sick.  Still going to the hourly-wage job.  (Although, this week will be easier than last, and next.)

             What I’m learning in all of this chaos and phlegm and exhaustion is that, as in so much of Life, it’s simply NOT that big of a fucking deal.

             Mostly, we’re uncomfortable or inconvenienced.  But, while the shitshow which is our political climate acts as an exception, none of the rest of our daily toil is truly life-threatening.

             The Universe is here to remind us that

It’s Okay.

             You know, I’m speaking generally here, because yes, there are some NOT at all Okay elements in our world.  On the whole, for most of us, as an average in the equation of this journey though, most of our garbage absolutely will work itself out.

             And that’s the thought we need to hold close.  When we worry and stress and fret, it helps nobody.  Right now?  There’s plenty we can do to help.

             Being negative isn’t the way.  Releasing what no longer serves, is.  Reaching out and sharing and lending a hand when we can, also is.

             Starting with ourselves.