In Mercy

             When I’m shown a sign numerous times, or am directed someplace over and over, I know it’s a big damn deal.  This week was no exception.

             While my desk job is soon to be going through a huge operational systems change, I have been keeping the worry in my back pocket, trying to ignore the low-key stress I feel about how much trouble this will cause.  Simultaneously, I enjoyed some fantastic days off/family moments.

             This is my reality.  And I’m getting better at the juggling, the prioritizing, the putting one aside to face the other, then… switching gears.  I’ve worked really hard to get here, and it makes me proud to say I put in the hours, the tears, the pain, to reach this point.

             (I have a long way still to go, but the progress is evident.)

             My improvement is also being measured in the way I treat myself.  I’ve granted allowances, I’ve fashioned a sort of metaphorical shawl of grace I reach for when I start to spiral in a negative direction, draping it over my shoulders in comfort and tenderness.

             I extend compassion to my younger self now too, I look at her as someone who maybe should have been given understanding instead of being assaulted.  I don’t hold her responsible as I once did.  I have relieved her of the burdens she should not have been carrying.

             Who the Universe has brought forth for this lesson is one of my true favorites.  When she kept showing up (in SUCH unexpected and random ways), I smiled, and thanked her.

“Quan Yin

The Goddess of Compassion

‘I recognize suffering in order to release it.‘ “

             To live in honesty and with genuine empathy for those around us, we must show ourselves this same care.  We must forgive our younger selves.  Forgive our past selves.

             Once we move through and beyond the sorrow, the guilt, and the blame, we can often see an innocence in our ignorance.  To show compassion is to accept that we’re all learning, we’re all growing, we’re all trying to do better.

             Would we berate a loved one for actions they couldn’t change, or origins they had no control over?  Never!  So, it only seems fair we grant the same clemency for ourselves.

             Allow lovingkindness, first for ourselves, and then, rippling out into the world.  It’s what Quan Yin suggests.  And I agree.

 

 

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To Be True

             Sometimes our messages are thematic.  This is one of those cases.  Last week we spoke of forgiveness and allowing that grace to start from within, to begin the growth and kindness process with our own inner spark.

             We were encouraged to shine, to care, and to share absolution on our own worthy selves.  Now, I’m hearing something similar.  A reassurance that we can trust, we can be confident.

Believe Yourself

             In the scope of mental health, we are not always strong enough to give our own feelings and thoughts the honor they deserve.  Our brains can play tricks on us.  We question our very heart and mind.  It can be so challenging to know when, what to have faith in.

             There are ways to get help, there are tools we can use, tricks we can learn.  But we often don’t feel truly equipped to be the sole source of knowledge.  So we doubt.  We wobble.

             Right now, we are being reminded that we DO have what it takes to accomplish those tasks ahead of us.  We DO have the strength.

             Once we have forgiven, once we have apologized to our own bodies, the next natural step is to move forward.  To trust that our inner wisdom has not left us.

             Our spirit knows, even if our mind continues to quietly question, we can feel assured that yes, our instincts are good, and our inner judgment can be relied upon.

             At this time, we can count on, and believe in, ourselves.

 

 

 

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Emotions Out of Control.

            Tonight I want to talk a little bit about feelings, communications, and actions.  It is a sad fact that no matter how genuinely pure our intentions are, they will sometimes become lost in translation.  To communicate perfectly is nearly impossible when deep emotion is involved.  Trying to get a clear message, from one person to another, in the heat of the moment, can just raise the level of tears flowing and jumble our words into incoherence.  Precisely the opposite of what we want to convey becomes the unfortunate, but inevitable, result.  Throw a Mercury retrograde into the chaotic blend and all we get is more confusion.

          There are relationships that run off the rails continuously.  Always it’s with someone we have strong feelings for.  Often it is with someone we are very similar to, which seems wrong, because you’d think arguments or emotionally charged discussions would happen more amongst conflicting/differing personality types.  But really, have you ever imagined having a sobbing fight with yourself?  It would be a disaster.  And pointless besides.  This is how misunderstandings are born.  Then grow and mutate and endlessly cycle around.  Emotions mask clarity.  No other way to put it.

        To clearly state your position you need to leave the feelings aside.  Set them over there, for later use.  Come back to the topic with a solid idea of what you need to express, and then get it out there.  Be brave and be honest.  Be humble and take claim for your faults.  Act according to your heart and conscience.  Acknowledge the mistakes and harsh words of each individual.  Forgive.  See through the eyes of the love you have for the other person.  Apologize.  Then get on with living.

        The way to break a pattern like this is to look at it, and address it.  See it for what it is, and then stop repeating it.  We learn from our mistakes only if we recognize that mis-steps are being made.  Forgiveness and honest assessment, no matter how painful, are the only things that can cease this kind of pain.  Watching a relationship circle around a drain like a flushed toilet won’t help anyone.  Dragging it out into the open, without the clouding emotions, is the most beneficial method for putting things right.

        Thank you all for your kind words and Fairy God Betty Vibes of Universal healing and care.  Today is a new day and we are now moving forward.  I even have a bonus photo for you.  

       Well, once again, it’s not a wonderful picture.  But you can see that I am continuing to enjoy the gift from my Hurricane, and am subversively cross stitching my little heart out.  Are you familiar with Alton Brown?  He has a show on the Food Network, Daniel and Empress are great fans.  One of the things he says is “wash those chicken-y hands!”  I put this on a lovely dish towel for Dan.  (Em wants one too, so I’ll do anther in the next few days.)

        Our card today (which I originally drew yesterday, before my world crashed down around my ears) is perfect and helpful.  As if it would be otherwise.  (Also, just as a magical aside, I did not even look at what I flipped over or read the definition from the guide book before I wrote today’s post.  It all just happened to fall into place like this.)  Let’s enjoy it and learn from it shall we?  And take our own advice, moving forward and leaving our sorrows behind us (hopefully never to be repeated again).

“Clairsentience  ~  Archangel Raguel:  Notice your recurring physical and emotional feelings, as they signify Divine guidance.

  Please honor your feelings.  Don’t be afraid of deep emotions or intense feeling.  I can help you distinguish between your own feelings and those of others.  I’ll also help you clear any energies you may absorb.  I will guide you toward people, situations, and places with clear and loving energy.  Your repetitive emotions and physical feelings provide important information, so please notice and follow these feelings.  They are answers to your prayers.  Ask me to help translate confusing messages so that you will clearly know which steps to take.”