Adjusting and Reconciling

             As we work on adapting, evolving, and doing better, our progress can be tracked.  What can also be monitored is our setbacks.  Both are perfectly common.  And yet.  One is clearly more desirable than the other.

            Or is it?  I mean, sure, falling down isn’t the way to success.  But maybe when we put them together, they add up to more, and it really is?

             When we talk about recovery or improvement we don’t always acknowledge (or even mention) the challenges.  It’s as if we’re thinking we can only share the “good” parts of our journey, not the struggles.  Wait, isn’t it possible though, that all pieces are positive?

             Those stumbles and fall-downs and roadblocks and detours?  They can be enormously educational.  And, it turns out, just as “good” as all the other experiences along the way.

             Right now we have been asked to look at

timing.

             Because even though we aren’t able to see the big picture yet, we are being reassured that we ARE on the right track, we ARE making progress, we ARE heading in the correct direction.

             I was in a situation yesterday.   It was super “normal” and very average for an afternoon of running errands.  But, it went ugly in a fast and unexpected way.

             Two end-aisle displays, on either side of me as I stood in line, just refused to be ignored.  I began to feel nauseous, sweaty, and hyper aware of my body (specifically of its shape, size, and age).

             It was too much.  I left.  I walked out.  I chose to save my mental health.  I went to the car.  Where I sat, in the rain.  It was so cool there, and refreshing.  Nicely overcast and gray, very soothing.  I slowed my breathing, focused on IN and OUT.

             I reminded my inner critic that I had value, that I was worthy, that I had as much right to be there as any of those other people.  (That the advertising in all of those products and images were fucking lies.)

             As I began to feel safe and centered, it occurred to me that this entire event had a purpose.  I was able to see the arc, the spiral, the activity of what had happened.

             This lesson dropped into place, exactly when it was supposed to.  As do they all.  As does our entire life here.  The timing, as they say, is divine.  Not necessarily because of outer sources, but because of our own inner strength and power.

             It’s us.  We are in charge of our blueprints, even if we’re not in control, we do have value.  We do have worth.  And we see that, just when we need to most.

 

 

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Seeking, Finding, Being

             There is the thought, in zen belief systems, of all emotions and feelings being equal.  That all is balanced, in accordance.  That all is harmonized, united with all else.

             In my on-going quest to learn the Release Lesson (so I don’t have to fucking repeat it!), I very much strive to get there.  I practice calming, breathing, re-centering.  I look with kind eyes, and I hear with an open heart.

             At least, that’s the idea.  That’s where I want to be.  In reality, I stumble.  I falter.  I fall down.

             But see, that basic tenet, of all being in balance, says that my rough patches are exactly part of what keeps me engaged with the teachings.  In my failures, there are successes.  In my pain, there is growth.

             And truly, I love that aspect.  I so enjoy the knowledge that with each shard of stabbing grief, there is an equally intense draping of joy.  That when we are immersed in sorrow, we can then pass through it into happiness.

             Even as I question why this part of the journey took nearly 60 years, I also realize with full understanding that it HAD to take this amount of time.  Partly because time is meaningless.  But also, because this is where I’m supposed to be right now.

             During the course of this (and mostly any) life there have been painful years, ignorant years, rage-filled years, starvation years.  Were there opportunities missed, mistakes made?  Was I supposed to move through that piece of the road in that way, in order to fully appreciate what came after?

             There is no way for us to answer any questions like this here, wearing these bodies.  On days when the low is stronger than the high, in moments of pain and sorrow, it seems to not take quite as much effort as it previously did to find my path, to get back on course.

             As I sit with the feelings, both sides of them, I attempt to witness my balance.  To be present in the journey.  I come here, I go to work, I share what I have learned, what I am learning.

             The above is from Jack Kornfield, who first brought this concept to my attention.  If we can stop for one brief moment, each day, regaining our balance, we will have given ourselves the gift of intention.  What I’m finding is that, this present experience, this right now, has value.   Let’s treasure it.

Today’s Sharing:

is what I’m listening to.

 

 

 

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Joy Now, and Every Day

             Many religions and spiritual belief systems talk about beginning each morning with prayer or meditation or some sort of Honour/Blessing.  I am a huge fan of this practice, and I try very hard to incorporate it on a regular basis.

             Sadly, waking up is a challenge for me.  Whether by alarm, on my own, or with the help of a person, none of these methods work well, nor are they easy.  I’ve been this way my entire life.

             Today, because I was called to Jury Duty, it was even MORE tragic than usual.  Our group was released before one p.m.  I was able to catch a nap/go back to bed, in an attempt to reset my internal clock and to finish last night’s sleeping.

             When I got up (the second time), I was reminded of this:

Divine Timing

             As you may recall, Time and I have a restless and prickly relationship.  We bicker.  We tussle.  We hardly ever agree.  Time has a way of always moving, and I’m a person who sits down a lot.

             While I fully believe that everything truly does happen for the reasons we originally mapped out, I also know that Free Will, and the general shit-show which is our complicated existence here, play in to this equation, and along its corresponding time-line.  There are too many factors throughout our Journey for us to count, our tiny human brain can’t math them all.

             Another Universal Truth is that we can improve ourselves and our situation/emotional position in extremely simple ways.  We don’t HAVE to count all of the things.  We can merely allow the Divine Timing to flow, taking its natural course.

             This particular messenger, the one who has come to help us with validation and to act as a guide, is one who speaks of my favorite option, that of choosing Joy.  That of going with the highest best choice for all involved.

“Lalita

The Red Goddess

‘Playfulness is a spiritual power.

Laughter leads me back to the light.’

Who She Is:

Lalita represents the spontaneity which graces a heavy moment and reminds us that joy is a powerful spiritual practice.

Lalita Tripura Sundari is a Hindu deity known as the red goddess because of her connection to desire.  She is often depicted sitting on a lotus with 16 petals known as the ‘fulfiller of all desires.’

She is holding a golden bow, which represents the mind, and five golden arrows, which represent the five senses.

Lalita is known for her spontaneity and for liberating her devotees with joy.  She’s the consciousness that comes when we get so caught up in taking ourselves seriously, causing us to forget the (profound) simple pleasures like a breeze on our face or the taste of sun-ripened fruit.

She reminds us that we don’t have to be perfect ….. what’s divine is inherent to us, it’s remembered, not learned.

When Your Soul Selects Her Card:

Answers arrive from disengaging with the energy which created the problem or question to begin with.  We so often hold tight to what we desire with a grip that actually inhibits it from arriving.

The secret to desire is holding it lightly.  The secret which the red goddess knows is that we already have everything we desire.  So we can trust that what the soul craves is and always has been ours.

This is the levity which sparks a shift, a change, an expansion – that is the moment where we remember we are not separate from what we desire, nor from the divine.

Lalita is the levity which comes when we loosen our death-like grip on what we desire.  She’s the much needed reminder that we don’t have to suffer our way to what we want most.

The path to what we desire and to becoming the soul we need to be in order to receive it can be paved with joy, with divine play, and with a sacred process of lightening up all along the way.

Soul-Voice Intention:

How can I add more playfulness to my life right now?

Intention:

Playfulness is a spiritual power.

Laughing leads me back to the light.”

Today’s Deck:

Divine Feminine Oracle by Meggan Watterson and Lisbeth Cheever-Gessaman

 

 

 

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Currently

             Have any of you ever seen the bumper sticker Everything IS in Divine Order?  Well, that’s kind of what our current message is focusing on.

             Us, being where and who we are because of when it is.

It’s About Time

             I’ve not always had the best relationship with Time, we rarely agree or get along.  But I do understand the concept of Perfect Timing, and how there’s a time and place for everything.

             I mean, I get it, conceptually and logically, I just struggle with it emotionally.  Impatience is one of our most difficult lessons.  We want it now and we can’t figure out why that’s not happening!  (Might just be me on this one.)

             But it takes as long as it takes.  There’s no getting around this, it’s simply a fact.  We can accept that and Be with it, or we can drape ourselves in unhappy anxiety.  It’s all a choice.

             As I stood in the altar room, with my Time notes in my hand, all I kept hearing was “the animals, the animals, the animals,” so I reached out in the direction I was being guided to.  Yep, this was the right draw.

“Ant  ~  32  ~  Patience 

. . .it is time to show a little trust and patience.   You may have forgotten that you will always receive that which you need, at the time you need it the most.

If it is not on the horizon or just around the next anthill, you may need to use some strategy.  How can you put to use your power of creating until ‘it’ arrives – whatever ‘it’ means to you at this time?

Ant is working for the good of the whole.  Are you?  If you are, be assured that the whole wants the same goodness for you, and that it will be provided.”

Today’s Deck:

Animal Medicine Cards by Jamie Sams and David Carson, illustrated by Angela C Werneke

Today’s Sharing:

is to express my enormous gratitude to the folks who have brought me local Spanish radio.  The joy I get from listening to this station is more than I could ever say or type or even sing.  Seriously, it never fails to make me smile.

             (No, sadly, I am not bi-lingual.  I am a non-Spanish speaking Mexican.  And apparently, there’s lots of us.)

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It takes exactly as long as it takes.

             When we  begin our (physical) learning process, as children, it’s age-appropriate and slow-going.  We don’t immediately, as infants, run right out and enroll in college level courses.

             In our continuing growth, on a metaphysical and spiritual level, the progress is similar.  We take our time, learning and following where our path takes us.  Absorbing or tossing out, listening or walking in another direction.

             Not all lessons stick.  Not all lessons are supposed to.  Here’s what I heard this morning:

a gradual comprehension.

             See, when we’re Home, we remember everything.  And yet, we can still learn more.  When we’re here, we have to take refresher classes and do extra-credit assignments.

             Our evolution happens as we seek it out, but also, as we NEED to seek it out.  At some points in our lives, we can rest a while.  Coasting and floating, picking up bits and pieces along the way.

             At other times, nose-to-the-grindstone hard-core in-depth research is called for.  Right now, the Universe is saying that we can gather as we go.  Nothing too strenuous is currently required.  We are precisely where we should be.

            And look at how perfectly validating our daily draw is.  Harshness, stress, and pressure?  Absolutely not.

“Tenderness  ~

Speak gently to yourself.

Cherish the child within.”

Today’s Deck:

Self-Care Cards by Cheryl Richardson

Today’s Power Statement:

I affirm that I am always financially secure.

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